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If you're single, I'm sure you've asked yourself more than once: "Why me?" As for the answer, chances are your friends and family may have been more than, ahem, generous in offering their opinions, and I'll bet that little voice in your head has had a say, too. But before you find fault in what you're doing on the dating scene, take a look at what you're thinking. You may simply be suffering from a slight spell of dating pessimism.

I look at dating this way: sometimes it's not about what actually happens on dates; rather, it's your explanation of what happened that makes all the difference in your attitude about love, your dating style, and the energy you're radiating in the presence of your matches. It's a theory that Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the father of positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness, calls your "explanatory style." He says that pessimists explain their problems as pervasive ("No one likes me"), permanent ("I'll be alone forever") and personal ("I'm not gorgeous enough"). But you're far more likely to land in a great relationship if you're an optimist, which means it's time to start looking at your negative dating experiences as "atypical," "temporary" and "not about me."

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Do you love your spouse? How does your spouse know you love them? Maybe you tell them every day. Maybe every time you go separate ways your last words are “I love you.” And you probably do love them and vice versa. What if the words you say, don’t necessarily spell love for your spouse?

An article I recently read on Your Tango discusses two behaviors which lead to a healthy and loving relationship. One of which is knowing your spouse’s love language.

The Five Love Languages is a book by Dr. Gary Chapman, which discusses five different ways people express and receive love. The words I love you should be expressed in some way. But when they are expressed they may not be received as love. You do it because you love your spouse, but your spouse may never interpret it that way.

No matter what your love language is, or what your spouse’s love language is, the important thing is to take action. Show your love in action. I’ve shared 25 love actions below, broken down into the five love languages.

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